The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club

"Now, does anyone else think that the law of excluded middle is a fallacy?"
Big thanks to XKCD!
Feb 20 2010

"Now, does anyone else think that the law of excluded middle is a fallacy?"
Big thanks to XKCD!
Apr 20 2009
The good people at Atlassian are running an incredible offer: get full versions of Confluence (a wiki) and Jira (a bug tracker) for $5 each, for up to 5 users. These are outstanding products that normally cost $1200 each (but those versions support more users). The offer is valid only until April 24, so act now, while supplies last! At my company we bought both Confluence and Jira, and they’re absolutely indispensable.
I was surprised by this promotion because Confluence and Jira are not second-tier products: they’re leaders in their class. I’m a Wiki fanatic, and a few years ago I performed a comprehensive review of all the Wiki products I could find (about 20). Two wikis were head and shoulders above the competition: Confluence and JotSpot. They both had a very long list of features, such as rich-text editing, comprehensive security, good collaboration tools, etc. Both were highly polished: the features were complete and easy to use. The biggest difference between them was that Confluence was meant to be installed on the user’s server whereas JotSpot was hosted. I prefer to have the Wiki installed on my own server, for fast access from within the company’s LAN, so I chose Confluence. (Nowadays there’s also a hosted version of Confluence, if you’re one of Those People who value access over speed.)
Some time after my Great Wiki Evaluation JotSpot was acquired by Google and shut down, to reappear later as Google Sites. Google Sites is far simpler than JotSpot had been, which means it’s not as feature-rich and no longer in the same class as Confluence and other leading Wikis. Google have turned a Harley Davidson into a pink bicycle with training wheels, and that’s the end of JotSpot.
I also recommend Jira, although to a lesser extent than Confluence. Jira is very powerful and customizable, but I find its workflow to be rather cumbersome. I had used FogBugz before Jira, and it was a smoother experience. They’re both much better than open-source products such as Bugzilla and Trac, however (both of which I have also used).
Preemptive disclaimer: I’m not getting anything from Atlassian for this post; I just really, really like Confluence, and I want to spread the word.
Feb 06 2009
My brother recently started working at SportVU, a company that uses video analysis to track the positions of players in live sport events. It provides real-time statistics about the players’ average speed, distance covered, etc.
We were watching a basketball match tonight between Maccabi Tel-Aviv (Israel) and Barcelona (Spain). During the first quarter, seven Spanish demonstrators ran into the court waving Palestinian flags to protest Israel’s recent Gaza offensive. My brother wasn’t paying attention at the moment, so I pointed out to him that there’s a real-time political demonstration taking place before his eyes. His immediate comment: “this will wreak havoc with the tracking”.
(Photo by themattharris)
Jan 25 2009
The famed San Francisco columnist Herb Caen had a regular feature called “Namephreaks”, which featured people whose names are related to their occupations. Well, meet Carla J. Dove, director of the Feather Identification Lab in the National Museum of Natural History. Dr. Dove is in charge of identifying the birds that hit US Airways Flight 1549 and forced it to crash-land in the Hudson River.

Nils Holgersson Airlines
Jan 23 2009
Sarah Lyall of The New York Times has just published an article about places in the UK with… unfortunate names. One such place is Crapstone, Devon. One of its residents has taken to telling people that “It’s spelled ‘crap,’ as in crap.” And pity the people who live in Butt Hole Road, South Yorkshire: pizza companies hang up when they say their address, thinking it’s a prank call.
Ever methodical, the Gray Lady included a map of some of these spots. It would make for a great road trip in England! After gazing at the historical colleges of Cambridge, why not take a side trip to nearby Titty Ho?

Americans might now be chuckling about those quaint Brits with their funny names. They should look closer to home, such as at Bald Knob, Arkansas or Hicksville, Ohio. (Thanks to the good people at Squidoo for collecting all too many such place names.)
My favorite poorly-named town would have to be Hell, Michigan, because I lived 15 miles away, at Ann Arbor, for 3 years.

Jan 17 2009
A snowclone is a sentence template that can be used to construct many similar phrases. For example, the snowclone “X is the new Y” has been used extensively, e.g.: “White is the new black”, “40 is the new 30″, and “Snowclone is the new Cliché”.
My favorite snowclone is “In Soviet Russia, X Y’s You”. I find these jokes endlessly amusing, and it is my earnest belief that everyone else does, too. For example:
My mom: I’m going to program the VCR to record the news.
Me: In Soviet Russia, VCRs program you!
Neighbor: This bag? It’s dog food.
Me: In Soviet Russia, dogs feed you!
Coworker: Oren, can you help me debug this program? Something’s not right.
Me: In Soviet Russia, programs debug you!
Coworker: Never mind, I’ll ask Larry.
Here in Israel a new snowclone was recently coined, courtesy of our upcoming elections. Israel’s defense minister, Ehud Barak, is one of the contenders in the elections but trails behind two more popular politicians. Barak is considered smart and capable, but he’s also viewed as calculating and aloof, and he has a reputation for discarding his allies when he doesn’t need them anymore. Barak’s campaign managers decided to tackle this reputation with a series of ads that, unusually for Israeli politicians, poke fun at the candidate.
The ad campaign began with huge outdoor signs that listed Barak’s well-known flaws: “Not a pal”, “Not trendy”, “Not nice”.

Not a pal
After a few days the signs were replaced. In the new signs, the snowclone was completed: “Not a pal. A leader”.

Not a pal. A leader.

"Not trendy. A leader."; "Not likeable. A leader."
The ad campaign was wildly successful in capturing the public’s attention. Political analysts self-importantly explained how the ads were either clever, or self-defeating. Advertising executives debated whether mentioning a product’s negative attributes is a good idea. Satiric shows riffed on the ad campaign with glee. But the meme didn’t remain confined to the context of Ehud Barak’s election campaign. The phrase “Not X. Y” became instantly recognizable and was adapted to every possible context.
One internet poster, in a forum for copywriters, said that the ad campaign makes Ehud Barak seem like a historical figure that was also known for being a strong leader:

Not nice. Not likeable. Not a pal. A leader.
Predictably, sports editors were quick to seize on the snowclone to spice up their stories. For example, one article described a basketball team’s new and tough-minded coach as “Not a pal. A coach”:

Not a pal. A coach.
World-affairs stories were next. This story describes Putin’s foray into painting, which contrasts with his well-known tough image. The title is “Not a hunter, a painter: Vladimir Putin’s gentle side”.

Not a hunter. A painter.
Yesterday the snowclone scored a major coupe, which cements its leading position in Israeli culture. Here is the front page of yesterday’s Yedioth Ahronoth, the most widely-read newspaper in Israel. It prominently displays a teaser for an interview with Gabi Ashkenazi, the current CJCS (Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff), with the following title: “Not a pal. CJCS.”

Not a pal. CJCS.
In the same issue of Yedioth Ahronoth, there was a story in the entertainment section about the difficulty of having famous actors portray characters that are different from their well-known public image. The story mentioned Brad Pitt’s performance in his new movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, where he portrays an old man for a large part of the movie. The accompanying photo had the following caption: “Not an icon. An actor.”
Not an icon. An actor.
Two mentions in one issue, including on the front page. Truly, the snowclone has arrived.
The snowclone has also spread to informal communications. The residents of one apartment building had a problem: people were putting trash in a decorative column near the building’s entrance. So they put up a sign: “Not an ashtray. Not a trash can.” Some wit added in handwriting: “A leader”.

Not an ashtray. Not a trash can. A leader.
Jan 17 2009
One of my favorite utilities is Steve Miller’s PureText. It lets you copy-and-paste text while removing all of the formatting. This is extremely useful; in fact, I used it twice just while writing this blog post.
For example, I often want to copy code snippets from my IDE, Eclipse, into Microsoft Word. Here’s what the code looks like in Eclipse:
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And here’s what it looks like after pasting into Word:
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I blame Bill Gates.
However, with PureText, I simply paste using a different shortcut (Windows+V), and get only the text, without any of the formatting:
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Mission accomplished.
(By the way, Microsoft Word allows you to remove formatting from pasted text, but only after you paste it. Using PureText is faster, and it works with all applications; not just Word.)
Sep 10 2008
Google have announced that they’ll reduce the amount of time that they keep individually-identifiable information about searches from 18 months to 9 months. I would like to think that my previous post on this topic played a small part in this decision, but it looks like it was mostly due to pressure from the European Union.
In that post, I showed a request that I had sent to Google, asking them to reduce the amount of time they keep private data to just one month. I asked everyone who read the post to send a similar request to Google, and judging from the comments some people did so. For the record, I did receive a reply from Google, but it was just a standard email that didn’t actually address my points: it just reiterated their position on data retention. In fine Google tradition, it would appear that no human was involved in sending that response.
Although I would like to see Google reduce the retention period further, to one month, this is a big step in the right direction. Google deserves credit for listening to the public and changing their practices. It is therefore unfortunate that they chose to pepper this announcement with vague threats:
What on earth could they mean?
Translation #1: “Ok world, you win, we’ll keep the data for less time. But you’re going to be sorry!”
Translation #2: “We’ve now reduced our retention period as far as humanly possible, and then some. Please don’t make us reduce it any more!”
Google are keeping this discussion (of how long to keep the data) at a superficial level: they throw a number (“18 months”), the European Union throws a number (“6 months”?), I throw a number (“1 month”). You, too, can become a highly respected privacy advocate by coming up with your own number (that no one else has claimed yet) and writing about it!
A more substantive discussion would require Google to reveal some of their cards: how much of a benefit to fraud protection do they derive from keeping this data for 9 months (vs. a shorter length of time)? How do 9 months of individually-identifiable information help them improve their algorithms vs. 1 month of such information, especially given that they will always have an unlimited amount of anonymized data?
Of course, Google will never reveal this information because it would hurt their competitive position. But an experienced programmer, well-versed in the art, can make some reasonable guesses.
Individually-identifiable information is most important for security, fraud prevention, and fighting spam. But since these are time-sensitive tasks, the information quickly loses its value. I believe that the residual value of this information is close to zero after a few weeks have passed.
The other use for this data, improving search quality, can be handled with anonymized data for the most part. One example that Google commonly give is their automatic spell checker. But they don’t need individually-identifiable information in order to figure out that people who search for “brittaney” really mean “britney”. Yes, I can envision some types of search quality improvements that would benefit from studying individually-identifiable information, but they are a minority, and Google can learn how to do that while keeping data for a shorter period of time. I therefore stand by my position that 1 month of private data would strike the right balance between privacy and security/fraud prevention/spam detection/search quality.
(Photo by lesprit_descalier)
Aug 20 2008
In the towns, in fields, in basketball courts, the talent scouts — looking for runners, looking for tall kids who can become championship sprinters.
Hey mister, that’s my kid over there! See him? He’s the one you’re looking for. Look how fast he is, he’ll break the world record.
No way, too short. Looks like he won’t be more’n five-ten, five-eleven. That doesn’t cut it anymore. Usain Bolt is six-five. That’s what I want. Give me ten tall kids, and I’ll find a champion.
Wait, wait! Tyson Gay is five-eleven. Maurice Greene is just five-nine. And they won plenty of races!
That’s ancient history. We seen Bolt at the 2008 Olympics. Ran the 100 meters, set a new world record, 9.69 seconds. First man under 9.70, and he didn’t even try hard. With those big strides, he overtook ever’one else, then slowed down at the end to wave at the crowd and beat on his chest. Now that’s a champion! All those stubby runners behind him looked like children. No, short runners are the past; tall ones are hot. I’m looking here today, tomorrow I’ll be in Oklahoma City.
God, if I could only get a hundred tall kids. I don’t care if they run or not. We’ll take ‘em, train ‘em, see how fast they can go. Ninety-nine kids out of a hundred won’t be good enough. Tall runners always have problems: their reaction time is slow, they can’t move their feet fast enough. That’s why everyone used to think that sprinters can’t be tall. But that all changed after we saw Bolt run in the Olympics. Now everyone wants tall runners, runners with the potential to be the next Usain Bolt.
It’s like we always thought automobiles should be big, as big as you can get ‘em, and then one day we’re told that small automobiles are better. Everyone’s dumping their big trucks and gettin’ small cars. Jus’ like that, the world turned upside down. Well, that’s how it is with runners now. We don’t want them short; short runners are finished. Only tall ones. Can’t find tall adult runners; we would have washed them out long ago. Gotta get ‘em young, train a whole new generation of runners. When we tell our grandchildren we saw runners under six feet win gold medals they ain’t gonna believe us. Christ, if I could only get five hundred tall kids! Find ‘em, sign ‘em up, get them to a trainer, collect the finder’s fee! If I had enough tall kids I’d retire in six months.
What do you mean, you don’t want to run? Now, look here. I’m tryin’ to help you become a star, and you took all this time. I might a signed three kids while I been talkin’ to you. I’m disgusted. Yeah, sign right here, and get your parents to sign over there. I’ll send you the details later.
Jesus, I wisht I had a thousand tall kids!
(With apologies to John Steinbeck)
(Photo by puck90)
Jul 09 2008
The Wilhelm Scream (originally called “Man being eaten by alligator”) is an inside joke in Hollywood: it’s a short but distinctive scream that has been used in hundreds of movies. Someone with too much time on his hands compiled this video with clips of many of the movies where the scream appears:
The more you watch this video the funnier it gets. Villains scream it, usually while flying through the air. Animated characters scream it. Every Star Wars movie features the scream, as do Star Wars spoofs. Sometimes even heroes scream it. It gets so ridiculous you want to scream it yourself. Oiaaaaargh! The next time you host a party, have a Wilhelm Scream Competition. The winner gets a Lacoste shirt.
Compare the Wilhelm Scream to Howard Dean’s famous scream during the 2004 Democratic presidential primaries, the one that ended his chances. He really nailed it! (Turn up the volume for full effect.)
(Via Freakonomics)